Kids Ask Hard Questions {foster adoption}

“Why did God make Kathryn cough?”

This was the question one evening after Kathryn had suffered all day with an asthma flare-up due to a summer cold. Scout’s approach was to hug her whenever possible and tell her, “I’m sorry your cough hurts.” Jem, however, wanted to know the why behind it in a bigger way than explaining lung function.


These kids ask hard questions. Questions that make me dig deep in order to take big theological/Biblical ideas and try to simplify them into four-year-old terms. I told Ken this deep-thinking little boy is going to make me go to seminary just to be able to answer his questions.

For an extra-complicated challenge, throw in the difficulty of how to answer questions honestly while still maintaining what honor I can towards the children’s birth parents.

“Why did my Daddy die?”

“When you are dead, you are asleep. When will he wake up?”

“Did my Mommy die, too?”

“Can we visit her sometime?”

“She said she wanted me to be with her all the time.”

It’s hard, y’all.

It’s just hard. Even when the parenting and relationship side of things are going really well, it’s still hard. I’m so thankful we are able to have them here at home instead of school because it gives us the time and proximity to provide a safe place ask these hard questions. One of the blessings of homeschool I hadn’t foreseen when we started seven years ago.

I’m thankful, too, that they are young enough to allow us many years ahead to love them and influence them and build trust with them. We’ve seen how hard that was for Lindsey being adopted at almost 15 years old; we have a decade longer with these children, and for their sake, I am glad.

Adoption is part of a fallen world.

As much as a blessing as adoption is, I’ve realized it was never God’s Plan A. It’s a result of the fallen world we live in, and no matter how much we love them, these kids will always have a hurt we cannot heal. I’ll spend the next decade and beyond praying they will allow Jesus to fill that hole in their hearts rather than trying to fill it with the things of this world.

Will you join me in praying that same prayer for ALL the foster, adopted, or orphaned children around the world?