(Earlier this week I received an email from a reader who started her message this way, “BOY! I love how the Lord brings things front and center. I found your blog via pinterest, via your cookbook…. saw your button about adoption and well, here I am.” Michelle told me her story in that email, and of course I asked to share it here as a guest post in my collection of adoption stories. Thankfully, she agreed…)
Michelle’s Adoption Story: A Different View
First of all I’ll start by saying that I was adopted as an infant myself by wonderful awesome parents. Shortly after my older brother was born, my mom had some issues that resulted in a hysterectomy. They found and adopted me 13 years after my brother was born. I was doted on by my parents and raised in a loving Christian home.
As I grew into my teen years, I began to choose my own path and step away from the Lord. And at the age of 20, I found myself alone, living away from home and pregnant by a boy I barely knew. He offered to pay for an abortion. I never spoke with him again. I moved back home and began making decisions. I had no education and no steady income of any kind. While I knew that my parents would move heaven and earth to help me raise the baby, I felt deep within my soul that the baby deserved to have both a mother and a father to raise him. And adoption had worked out for me, so it “appeared” to be an easy choice.
At NO TIME was my decision easy. Many people fought me about my choice (including my mom) and said I was just taking the easy way out. Let me tell you this: Giving your own flesh and blood to total strangers is NOT EASY! But the Lord was stronger than I. And at 20, I was of the age to legally make my own decision. My mind was made up. So began the process. The question of open or closed adoption was easy for me. My records are sealed, and as an adoptee, every single adopted child, no matter the family they are with, has questions from time to time. Mine will not be answered until I get to heaven. Nor do I have a medical record. But this has it’s own advantages, too. I don’t have to worry about heart disease or cancer being in my family. I simply have to trust God for those things.
Anyway, I chose open adoption. But I knew that I could not just give the baby to someone who did not believe in the Lord as I did. So to my pastor I went. Ashamed, but I went anyway, and got a real life lesson in God’s grace and forgiveness.
My pastor welcomed me with open arms, helped me in every single step. From finding an adoption agency, to praying with me and for me daily. And as the Lord does things, it turns out that his wife had previously been a Lamaze coach and she would coach me privately. SHE was with me right up until the baby was born! All day and night, and the next day and night.
I received tons of resumes from prospective families. I prayed over every one. At last a couple in Oregon sent a resume that touched my heart, and I knew the Lord was saying, “them.” They had one daughter naturally, could not have more. And they also had an adopted daughter. The choice was made. They came over and met with my family, my church family and I. I fell in love with both of them immediately. Before the baby was born, Stacy came over and spent nearly two weeks getting to know me and I enjoyed her tremendously. No regrets.
Fast forward 19 years.
I come home one morning to find a friend request from MY SON on Facebook! I cried for days I was so blessed! My husband came home, and I had to explain why I couldn’t stop crying. Once he understood, HE didn’t stop crying! We spent DAYS texting and emailing, comparing notes with Zach (my son), Stacy (his mom) and my two teenage kids. I had never kept secrets about Zach so it was a blessing for all. Since that time, Stacy and I are able to unite in prayer over Zach and all his life changes, including the birth of my grandson. No Regrets! No Sorrow! Ahh but since I am a crybaby, still many tears – of joy.