• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content

See Jamie blog.

  • about
  • homeschool
  • adoption
  • {subscribe}

Conversations in a confusing family

9 February, 2015; Filed Under: family & home

Kathryn likes to shock new friends by telling them she has 7 siblings. It’s pretty unheard of around here to have a family that big. Then she confuses them further by saying none of them are full siblings, she has 3 step-siblings and 4 half-siblings, but only one is biological related to her.

The 5-year-old hasn’t even tried to wrap his little brain around all that. For a while I had to keep reminding him that Brandon and Lindsey are his brother and sister even though they don’t live here. That you don’t have to live under the same roof to be siblings.

blended family

Although she’s only been in the family for two years, the 7-year-old is starting to get it. Two recent conversations I had with her:

Conversation one:

– Mama, is Kathryn’s other dad her step-dad?

– No, that’s her dad; Daddy is her step-dad. So K– and G– are her step brother and sister.

– {thinking} So are they my step brother and sister, too?

– Nope, just Kathryn’s.

Conversation two:

– Mama, you have five kids, right?

– Yep, that’s right.

– And two were adopted, because me and [brother].

– Actually, three.

– Oh, because Lindsey!

– Yep.

– So just Brandon and Kathryn came out of your tummy.

– Well, actually only Kathryn came out of my tummy. Daddy is Brandon’s dad, but I’m his step-mom. That’ll make more sense when you understand more about babies and pregnancy and all that.

– Like how the baby gets out of the mama’s tummy?

– More like how it gets in the mama’s tummy.
{Suppressed snickers from teenage Kathryn in the background.}

* * * * *

Life in our confusingly, lovingly blended-adoptive family. Never a dull moment, y’all.

Jamie

Wife, mama, homeschooler, dog-wrangler. Introvert who finds joy in good books, sunshine, and authentic conversation. Fitness enthusiast and strength coach. Often seen with a steaming mug of tea in hand.

Share

Related Posts:

  • Quilted together family
    Quilted together family
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
guest
18 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Hannah
Hannah
9 February, 2015 10:01 am

Our family is confusing to the outsider as well. My husband was married before and has 2 girls H, 24 and B, 23 from that marriage. Plus he also has a son R, 29 from a previous relationship before his first marriage. R and H are married and R has a daughter. I was also married before and share custody with my husband of our daughter S, 15. I also adopted a daughter T,14 while I was a single mom(in 2010). My husband and I married in 2012(3 yrs next Saturday!) and have a (biological) son A, 2 and just… Read more »

Reply
Jamie
Jamie
Author
Reply to  Hannah
9 February, 2015 10:24 am

I think you’ve got us beat for confusing! 😉

Reply
Tina stone
Tina stone
9 February, 2015 10:51 am

I love it…it’s nothing but God and His love….all over that conversation!

Reply
May
May
9 February, 2015 10:52 am

Hehe I know how that feels! I like to surprise people by telling them that til I was 16, I was the oldest of 2, and now I’m the middle of eight. Or seven. Or six, or five, or four, depending how you count. Fosters, steps, halfs and would-be-steps-if-the-parents-were-married. My family is kind of weird.

Reply
Kris @ Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers
Kris @ Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers
9 February, 2015 1:29 pm

I have 4 steps and two halfs (the correct spelling, “halves” just doesn’t sound right there), but only one half is biologically related to me. There is also another step that I don’t claim (long story) and two more that I always forget about because that marriage happened after we were all adults. One time in high school Spanish, I was asked to draw and label a family tree for the purpose of practicing family relationship words in Spanish. After questioning my teacher extensively, she finally instructed me just to include the people who actually lived in the same house… Read more »

Reply
Jamie
Jamie
Author
Reply to  Kris @ Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers
9 February, 2015 6:25 pm

Ha ha! I’m sure my kids (especially the oldest three) can relate to your dilemma with the family tree!

Reply
Kaylene
Kaylene
9 February, 2015 6:35 pm

We have a blended family as well that gets confusing for my oldest boy. He and my middle son are with me and my fiance (Daddy Chris) 5 days a week and visit their biological dad (Daddy Brad) two days a week. The baby stays home with me and Chris all the time though because Chris is his biological dad. So we have 3 last names in our house, and people get confused all the time! I wouldn’t change our blended family for the world though. 🙂 Thank you for sharing!

Reply
Jamie
Jamie
Author
Reply to  Kaylene
10 February, 2015 11:46 am

We have two last names in our house, but at one point, before adoptions were finalized, we had four. That was confusing for sure!

Reply
Jenni
Jenni
9 February, 2015 10:13 pm

Our conversations usually come from people trying to figure out how we are related because of our various skin tones. Little kids have the funniest comments… So glad I found your blog!

Reply
Jamie
Jamie
Author
Reply to  Jenni
10 February, 2015 11:46 am

Thank you, I’m glad you found me, too!

Reply
Erin-The Usual Mayhem
Erin-The Usual Mayhem
14 February, 2015 7:58 am

Our household is nowhere near as well-mixed as yours, but we do have 3 surnames between 5 people, which tends to get tricky when signing up for activities, library cards, and the like…my oldest son got so tired of the wait while we tried to clear it up that he just answers to whichever surname someone uses.

Reply
Jamie
Jamie
Author
Reply to  Erin-The Usual Mayhem
14 February, 2015 12:12 pm

Now Kathryn is the only one in the house with a different surname but she answers to ours too!

Reply
Jaimie Ramsey
Jaimie Ramsey
14 February, 2015 2:27 pm

Hahaha, that last conversation was hilarious!! You can tell Kathryn I was snickering too. 😀 I do not have a blended family, lol. Mine is pretty, well, boring. I have two biological siblings and four in-laws (my husband’s brothers) although I’ve never met the oldest one because he’s estranged from the family. Then I have a sister-in-law (she’s married to my husband’s other older brother). And by the time this summer is over I’ll have two more sisters-in-law (my brother is getting married and so is my husband’s next youngest brother). …I guess if you count in-laws that does get… Read more »

Reply
Jamie
Jamie
Author
Reply to  Jaimie Ramsey
14 February, 2015 5:10 pm

Yeah, I did pretty good not snickering as I said it. 😉

Reply
Lisa
Lisa
24 February, 2015 3:57 pm

What a beautiful illustration of adoption into God’s family, though. 🙂

Reply
Jamie
Jamie
Author
Reply to  Lisa
25 February, 2015 1:14 pm

Thank you, yes, I think so. But funny, too. 😉

Reply
Lisa
Lisa
Reply to  Jamie
25 February, 2015 3:06 pm

Absolutely. 🙂 Adoption of an older child in foster care has been on my mind for several years now. (Which is how I came across this blog.) We’re in NW Georgia and my husband actually works at a group foster home for 13-18 year olds. I’ve had 4 of the 14 kids in that home in my classroom. (I teach middle school.) What can you tell me about how foster to adopt works. If we go through the training, will we constantly be propositioned to keep foster kids? Or can we just go at it with a targeted approach that… Read more »

Reply
Jamie
Jamie
Author
Reply to  Lisa
25 February, 2015 3:14 pm

You can foster, and let your caseworker know you’d be willing to consider adoption if the opportunity arises. OR you can specifically be designated as a foster-to-adopt family, which means you are only presented with kids who are definitely or most likely going to be available for adoption. With our 1st adoption, parental rights had been terminated years before; with our 2nd adoption, the kids had moved in before rights were terminated. We had no absolute guarantee it would happen but everything pointed to that. And also, either way (whether you foster or foster-to-adopt) you can designate what age range,… Read more »

Reply


Copyright ©2010-2021 See Jamie Blog. | All rights reserved. | See policies.
Use of original text or photos without permission is a violation of copyright.
wpDiscuz