We talk often around here about kids. About having them, about adopting them. Lindsey wants nothing more than to have her own family one day, and even now she worries how she’d handle it if for some reason she is unable to conceive. She knows I would love to have another baby, and doesn’t understand why I haven’t gotten pregnant in the year since our roadtrip. She says she’d be upset with God if she were me.
I told Lindsey that I since the Bible says children are a blessing, it means we aren’t entitled to them. They are a gift.
As He’s done many, many times over the years, God used the words I spoke to my child to speak to me. I know in my head that children are a gift and therefore I’m not guaranteed to have them. A gift, by definition, is “a thing given willingly to someone without payment,” so I’m not going to have kids just because I live a certain way or do certain good or right things. I know this in my head, but my heart doesn’t always remember.
When I hear about yet another pregnant teen, or when someone I know who doesn’t really want children is surprised by pregnancy, I find myself thinking, why not me? But that’s entitlement thinking, which is the opposite of gratitude.
May I never forget:
The blessing of being Mama is because of God’s extravagant love, not because of anything I did to deserve it.
I’m learning from all of this. This yearning for more children and this conviction about allowing God to determine our family size has made me realize more fully what a gift they are. I’m often reminded, in my own life and in many other lives around me, that a child is just as much of a blessing if they do not come from your own womb as they are when they do. I’d be delighted with more children, whether through birth or adoption — or both! And I’m learning, too, to more deeply appreciate the children I have, and to enjoy every age and stage of their lives.
The adorable baby above came to her joyful parents through the blessing of adoption, and I had the pleasure of photographing her a few months ago.