You, my dear blog readers, are fabulous. And because you are so very fabulous, I sure would appreciate your help on something…
In my other life {as a photographer}, I am working on a portrait project this month celebrating the God-given beauty in every woman, no matter her age, shape, or age. I’m photographing real women, and my “models” span an age range of FIVE decades! I’m having so much fun already, and I’ve just gotten started.
I study people; it’s part of my introvertedness. I often see people in my comings and goings that I want to photograph because they are so doggone interesting, or because they are so strikingly beautiful, or because I sense that they don’t see their own beauty — the beauty that I see in them. (And I’ve yet to come up with a non-creeper way to explain this to a total stranger while handing them a business card!) I believe true beauty comes from the inside, but I want to SHOW women, through my photography, that they are beautiful inside and out. In order to do that, of course I need technical photography skills, but I also need to understand the hearts and minds in front of my lens. The more input I have, the more it helps me. So if you’d take the time to share a bit of your own heart on the matter, I’d be so very grateful.
Tell me what you think about beauty; what makes a woman beautiful? (To the few fellas who are reading, feel free to share your thoughts on beauty, too!)
I want more than Sunday school answers about true beauty; comment anonymously if you like, but I want the nitty gritty. These are the kinds of things I want to know, along with anything else you’d care to share:
- Do you feel beautiful? Why or why not?
- What sorts of things influence how beautiful you feel?
- Has anything from your younger years, maybe something someone told you, stuck with you in a good or bad way in regards to how you feel about your appearance?
- How does media (movies, TV, magazines, etc) influence your feelings on beauty?
- No need to stick to these questions; just gimme some input!
Thanks so much for your help!
Some of the most beautiful women I have met have had no hair, or one breast or a disfiguring stoma on their abdomen but their eyes sparkled with life. When you spoke with them all the unusual [beautiful parts] faded. Their eyes had this amazing sparkle and you could see their souls reflected in them. Bright, clear, honest and non-judgemental.
I don’t feel beautiful every day, but I do feel attractive most days. This did not use to be the case. I’m 30 years old and have always been pretty average looking, coupled with a big side of social awkwardness. I struggled with major insecurity for a long, long time and God has been healing me of that over the last 7 years or so. It really wasn’t until I met my husband that I began to see myself through someone else’s eyes. I remember a particular conversation we had about some flaws I saw in my body. My husband was shocked that I would dare to think God had made a mistake. He told me when I thought like that it was like telling God what he made wasn’t good enough, that I knew better than him. It was a new concept for me to think about and took some other conversations for it to sink in. But it’s been very helpful to remember that when I am criticizing myself.
I would say the things that influence me feeling beautiful are mostly my husband and if I’ve done my hair and put effort into making myself look presentable for the day. I don’t wear make up, so if I put some on for a special occasion I feel pretty good about myself.
And if I take the time to blow dry and style my hair instead of just putting it in a ponytail, then I also feel more beautiful.
I think the most beautiful women are the ones who are confident in who they are — in who God made them. I think when women believe that God made them for a reason and a purpose even in the middle of the tough and rocky spots in life they are beautiful.
I believe that HAPPINESS is beautiful. The most physically attractive woman, when unhappy or angry, is no longer beautiful. And the plainest, most “average”-looking woman, when she is genuinely smiling, is the most beautiful woman in the world at that very moment!
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I think everyone has their own beauty! Sometimes someone’s beauty is obvious and sometimes it’s subdued. I think I appreciate the cute features and qualities many people overlook… like “crows feet” and smile lines. I think those are the most beautiful, undervalued features that many people become insecure about due to our culture’s anti-age, anti-wrinkle ads.
Growing up, I actually was bullied more than once when it came to my looks. One horror story involves a boy talking to me on the school bus and another boy shouted out “Look! Billy is talking to ‘Ugly Girl’!” to which other kids joined in to chant, “Billy likes ‘Ugly Girl’” over and over. Other incidents involved kids making fun of my clothing – “What, are you poor or something?” was one girl’s response to my old shoes. I was harassed for a full day by a girl who didn’t like my black jeans and white tennis shoes, but I only owned white tennis shoes. (And I saw most of these people as I continued on into high school and even college, so the memories never faded.)
This seems like the perfect recipe for a complete lack of self-esteem, but it taught me to choose my friends cautiously, rely on my family for support – though they never really knew about how kids treated me at school, they always made sure to tell me I was beautiful – and to stick up for other kids who were treated like I was. Now, I’m approaching my 24th birthday and it’s a rare and fleeting moment that I am self-conscious of how others see me. I see my beauty inside and out, and that’s all that matters.
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Where to start… I guess the thing that find “beautiful” about my friends is a sparkle in the eyes or a smile that goes the whole way to their eyes. I actually really hate my teeth, but I get a lot of compliments on my smile, because I don’t let the “we couldn’t afford braces and it shows” mouth stop me from putting all my joy into a smile.
Being comfortable with who you are is beautiful. Knowing that I’m loved makes me feel beautiful. I think I’m probably less “pretty” now than at almost any time in my life – I’ve got a few extra pounds, a serious skin problem that’s only come up in the past couple of years, the sort of stuff that objectively probably would be considered less than ideal. Yet I feel beautiful more often than I used to – because I have a hairstyle I love, reasons to be happy and share my happiness with the world, people who love me, a less-stressful job… I don’t look down at the floor or look stressed out all the time, so even if I’m a little less pulled together, I still think it’s more attractive!
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What an exciting project to work on! Good for you!
Some women just have that thing – that aura about them, that makes them so beautiful. It makes them interesting. I think a woman is most beautiful when she loves herself and isn’t afraid of accepting other people’s love. It takes a lot of courage to be a woman and it’s so awesome when you see that courage in the way a woman carries herself. I don’t see it a lot, but when I do – it really stands out.
I feel beautiful sometimes, but mostly I try not to think about it. I’m learning to love myself and the body God made for me. It’s hard though. Especially when I get so confused about whether or not my “love” for myself or accepting other people’s admiration is a form a vanity. I’m a bit embarrassed to say this, but sometimes I’m afraid to dress up too much or let myself feel extra pretty because I think that I’m not supposed to draw attention to myself. Then if I receive too many compliments it’s like a confirmation that maybe I would’ve been better off just dressing normal. I think this goes back to that aura, that courage – it takes courage to be confident and unapologetic in your beauty. Especially when media sends a constant message that “You are never enough and if you thought you were – well, you were wrong.”
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Do you feel beautiful? Why or why not?
Yes, most of the time. I have nice skin and hair and have been blessed with a metabolism that means I don’t gain weight easily and have a healthy figure for my height. That’s physical beauty, of course. I know that spiritually and emotionally my “beauty” comes from the inside, and is based on my attitude and actions. Most days I feel beautiful that way, too–but then there are the days when I look, feel and ACT ugly. My husband is my biggest encourager when it comes to helping me feel beautiful.
There are certain physical characteristics I have that I feel are definitely not beautiful…my rather knock-knees, my weird toes, the scars on my legs from various knocks and nicks.
What sorts of things influence how beautiful you feel?
I feel beautiful when I’m healthy, when I’m having a good hair day, when I’m not sweaty and grimy. I feel beautiful when my husband gives me his special look and tells me how beautiful I am to him. I feel beautiful when my friends tell me I am.
Has anything from your younger years, maybe something someone told you, stuck with you in a good or bad way in regards to how you feel about your appearance?
) and that helped a lot. I’ve always been blessed with friends who are beautiful inside and out, and their influence definitely had a positive effect on me.
Not really. My mom, however, often told me how pretty and beautiful I was when I was younger (she still does
How does media (movies, TV, magazines, etc) influence your feelings on beauty?
Ever since I learned how fake the beauties in magazines are (as a result of the magic of computers) I’ve mostly quit comparing myself to them. My husband is always quick to tell me he thinks I’m more beautiful than any actress or magazine model.
I still compare myself sometimes, but most of the time I’m pretty self-confident.
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I think confidence it really shines through and makes a woman beautiful no matter what. It’s not size, or hair or even their faces really because although those things can make you beautiful the portraits that really stand out to me are the ones that you can see the confidence in their eyes or maybe it’s just emotion in general in their eyes.
This sounds like such a fun project!! I am also a photographer and this sounds like something I should do too one day…
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I have inner confidence and am comfortable with who I am. Perhaps I wish there was less racism and all types were more accepted by all but other than that I like who I am. Media does nothing to help or hinder that. I am not externally motivated to want to look or be a certain way. I want to be happy and healthy.
I don’t always feel beautiful, mainly because of my weight. I do know that my husband finds me beautiful though and remembering that can change my view of how I look. I was very self-conscious in high school. Guys always seemed more interested in my best friend than in me, and I would let that influence how I felt about myself. I have learned to let that go and realize there are things about myself that are beautiful.
I think a good smile is something that can add beauty to anyone. I have a picture of my mom from several years ago. She was slowly dying from cancer at that time, but the picture was taken on a good day and she has the brightest smile. The smile lit up her face and takes away from the wasting body.
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I feel beautiful at home. I feel beautiful to my husband and children. When my children take there hand and rub in against my cheek and play with my hair…..I feel beautiful. When my husband smiles at me from across the room…..I feel beautiful.When I witness other women in a moment with there husbands or children I can’t help but be captivated. I cryed the other day at church as I watched a mother snuggle against her baby. I love watching people love. To me there is nothing more beautiful. I feel the world puts such a influence on looks and I struggle not to fall into that…I am 28 a wife and a mother of four….I am I guess pretty by wordly standards. But I don’t feel it, I have severly bad teeth, and have had to remove a lot of my upper teeth due to lack of dental insurance or out of pocket money. I would love to get teeth implants but thats not a option for me. So my struggle is how do I smile when I don’t feel good about my smile, and I think my answer is so what….if I’m not confident in something….so what….smile anyway…it takes more effort to care. Being real is beautiful!!!!! So when I see a picture of me smiling now with my bad teeth or lack there of lol I will look at it and call myself beautiful, because it will be a real smile.
I’ve recently been reading the book Captivating By John & Stasi Eldredge, and they talk about how we are created in God’s image that beauty is the essence of God. They goes on to explain why beauty matters saying that it speaks….beauty invites, nourishes, comforts, inspires, is transcendent….beauty draws us to God. Beauty is something that needs to be unveiled. As a women is sought after, she reveals more of her beauty. As she unveils her beauty, she draws us to know her more deeply. (Chapter 2 in Captivating)
I’ve never really saw beauty in this way as I’m sure a lot of people haven’t either. We are so drawn to the media and how it shows us what beauty is. Beauty isn’t just outward, its inward. And the inward beauty is what truly matters! Beauty can be so many different things…happiness, confidence, joy, peace, love, kindness, goodness, faithfully, self-control (The Fruit of the Spirit). Beauty is being like God.
I think true beauty does come from within. But society would like us to think otherwise. Beauty comes from joy which comes from God. When a woman is joyful she is letting God’s love and light shine from within her to the outside world, thus making her beautiful. Some of the most beautiful women I have met weren’t necessarily beautiful on the outside but that didn’t matter. What I saw was beauty that came from within. I do think the media and TV have influenced our society because they portray people as super skinny and outwardly beautiful. It doesn’t represent real people. To me it is a fantasy. I don’t always “feel” beautiful. Negative words can and do have a harmful effect on women. Especially our young girls and teenagers. We have to be so careful in our selection of words when talking to younger girls. They need to feel beautiful and know it in their hearts that it isn’t what we look like on the outside that is most important. God sees the heart and that is what is truly beautiful when aligned to God’s ways.
When I think of women I know, I believe that a joyful spirit and an easy smile make anyone beautiful. Bitterness and anger are incompatible with beauty. The world’s definition of beauty is fleeting and unrealistic.
That being said, I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been comparing *myself* to what the world tells me is beautiful, and I’ve come up lacking. I hate that. My husband tells me I’m beautiful all the time, and I know that he believes it. And that should be enough for me. But I’ve given birth to and nursed 4 children (plus one on the way), and I don’t like the way I look. So I’m struggling with that. I’m wanting very much to believe what my husband tells me: I look just the way God wants me to, and He made me beautiful. In my head I know it’s true, so I need that knowledge to work its way to my heart.