Homeschool Plans and Optimism
In about a week, both of my girls will be out of town. Lindsey will be on a mission trip with the youth group at church, and Kathryn will be on a vacation with her daddy and family. While they are gone, I will disappear into (or maybe under!) my enormous pile of school books, and not come out until I have approximate weekly schedules for each subject, and a tentative daily schedule of what we’ll do when.
Thankfully, I do have our curriculum for each subject already chosen. This will be my fifth year as a homeschool mom, but this will be Lindsey’s first full year at home, and our first year with a high schooler in our homeschool! I am am optimistic and excited about the upcoming year, but I know not to expect perfection.
Lindsey’s feelings about homeschool haven’t changed much. I do think she may be just a little bit [key word there is little] less resistant to it, but she still is not happy about it. Imagine: leaving the town you’d lived in your whole life, moving to a new home in a new town, leaving behind all of your friends, suddenly having a new family, a new church, a new routine, and on top of all of that, leaving the public school system you’re comfortable with and being homeschooled when you never even knew anyone who homeschooled! It’s SO easy for me to get frustrated about how much she dislikes (hates) homeschooling so far — but when I keep all of that in mind, it’s much more understandable.
Without hope, without grace, and without the optimism that comes from both, I would feel like giving up. But with all of that, I can keep going, even on the hard days. Someday, homeschool might become something she actually likes and appreciates. I’m not holding my breath. However, I do hope that this year it will finally sink in that we are doing this — and everything else in how we parent her — because we believe it’s best for her, because we feel that God has called us to do this, and because we will be held accountable before God someday in how we parent and disciple her. That’s a major paradigm shift for her: people doing things because God called them to, and because they honestly believe it is in her best interest. This is not just about homeschool; it’s about trusting that we won’t leave her or betray her like so many adults in her life have.
But we’ll get there. I have to remind myself how far we’ve already come.
Lindsey and I were the only ones home one evening last week, and we ended up talking for hours. No serious discussions; just talking. We realized that was the longest conversation we’ve ever had. She said she likes talking to me, but sometimes can’t think of what to talk about. I told her the same thing. I reminded her (and myself) that there are a whole lot of moms and teenage daughters in the world who have the same problem — but for us, we missed the first fourteen years, so it’s an extra-big challenge. We are making progress, though; any step in the right direction is good, no matter how small a step it is.
I found a book that Lindsey and I are going to do together, called Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood. We’ll read one chapter each week (individually), then we’ll get together to discuss the chapter. I’ve skimmed through it, and it’s good stuff, but looks teen-friendly as far as format and language. In other words, it doesn’t seem stuffy or sound “preachy.” No book will solve our problems, but I’m hopeful God will use this as a tool to help us grow closer to each other — and to Him.
Wife, mom, J-ma. Introvert who enjoys good books, sunshine, and authentic conversation. Often seen with a steaming mug of tea in hand – unless it’s lost yet again in the microwave. Read more »
Fantastic post, Jamie. Thanks for sharing some tough thoughts from your heart!
Yes! We can’t only look at where we are. Sometimes we have to look back and see where we came from.
And this post made me realize how much I need to figure out something to talk to my son about. He is a young man now, and we rarely have any time one on one. I wonder if there are books like that for boys…
I’m just finishing up my 2.5 days of homeschool planning. Not as much as I had last year—or nearly enough to finish what I need to do, but it was a good chunk to get me going. I’m excited about teaching next year. I’m glad to hear you are too. Your family and story are amazing and I plan on being a cheerleader for you! I cannot imagine teaching high school. Even if you knew your daughter for all the years of her life. But God doesn’t call the equipped. He equips those that He calls, and so have faith… Read more »
Hi there Jamie, this is me (jamie) over from Meadow Creek. THANKS for stopping by and commenting, It is so neat that are name is spelled the same way as well. I hardly find it spelled the same way. I have been reading your blog and I really enjoy it so GUESS WHAT??? I am going to add you to my list and add your button also.I need to learn to make a button.
Blessings
Jamie/Indiana
You need to get into the “unschooling” state of mind, from what I’ve read. I am fortunate in that I never immersed them into a formal educational environment, so I am not filled with practical advise on the subject. I do, however think focusing on the peer-pressure element would be helpful in getting to where you can grasp the psychology of the indifference between the two of you. It’s possible she has residual separation anxiety if she was placed in the formal setting, as this is a major part of indoctrination into the system. Exploring how the two of you… Read more »
Jamie, I’ve been buried in school plans as well. I’ve been trying really hard to do tons of planning up front this year so I have less to plan over the extremely busy school year. While Amber is not “technically” in high school, she does start three high school courses next year so that is a big change for us. My daughter is 13. While I can’t imagine what it is like with your daughter because your situation is so different, I do understand the desperate need to just keep a teenage girl talking to you. I spend more time… Read more »
I have a huge mountain of books waiting for me to dive in, too! I LOVE the planning part of homeschooling, but I am feeling more need this year to focus more in-depth. Can you imagine how obsessed I’ll feel about it when my little one hits the upper grades?!? Being intentional about finding ways to connect with a teen is critical – you’re right. With my two oldest, our most rewarding conversations over the years tended to center around themes of dreams and plans for the future and on relationships between friends and crushes. You have most likely already… Read more »
An encouragement for you to keep on, Jamie. I went through a similar book with my girls this last year (8th & 10th grades). It was “Preparing your Daughter for Every Woman’s Battle.” We did a chapter a week as part of our school/devotional times, and it made for some really interesting discussions. There was no one defining moment, but I definitely have noticed a difference in our relationship since doing that book together. You’re right…the book isn’t the solution, but it’s the time spent together, the honest discussions, and the prayer that has made all the difference. I also… Read more »
Thank you so much for that post! We have had a very rough year here with homeschooling. So rough that I’m not sure we will be homeschooling in the fall. Your post brought some great perspective that in the midst of everything we are dealing with, we may have forgotten to think about.
Our conversations can still be a struggle at times, too. Older child adoption has some unique surprises! That book sounds like it will be a great launching point for you and Lindsey!
I really do like your blog!
I love planning, I know, sick and twisted but it is one of my favorite things to do. It is my first year with a high schooler too, new territory for sure. But there is such peace in settling into it because you’ve been called. I highly suggest RC Sproul Jr.’s “When You Rise Up”. I try to read it annually, it refreshes and renews my conviction when I am feeling weary.
Jamie: I applaud taking her into your homeschooling life as well as family. I’m a former foster mom and I know how hard adjustments can be. I’m also a homeschool mom who didn’t try to homeschool my high schoolers and am now starting with my 11th grader after 2 years in public school. So yeah, I’m there with you! 😉 She and I are just beginning to home those talks… what do you want from life… how do you want to learn this subject or that one… etc. Just cling to the Lord and He will provide! (I’m talking to… Read more »
Your post sounds like you’re having such a good time – tons of work, but work of the most rewarding, satisfying type. I’m so impressed by the organization that your plans for planning your year represents, but even more so by the way that your nurturing your daughter. I’ve only my 3 year old son, with #2 shortly to arrive, and I can only imagine the challenges posed by adopting an older teen, even after having worked with older teens in need of adoption at one point. “My” girls are too old for adoption now, but I hope they found… Read more »
Hi Jamie!
Thanks for dropping by and for your compliments on my blog! And yes, just Googled around for tips and tutorials on changing the HTML and CSS and we’ll be able to customise a whole lot of things! I too paid for the domain only and I think for Malaysia, it’s way cheaper! 🙂
Btw, I love your blog design!
I haven’t even started thinking about planning. For now, we’re busy holidaying.
Some years I used to plan all summer! What a waste of time that was; now I realize it’s better to do it in a a day or two…and then cut out 1/3 of the work I’d planned the kids would do!
LOL
I am amazed at your homeschool journey with adoption. God bless you and your family.
Annie Kate
Thanks for stopping by my blog : )
I just read your adoption story then read this post… I think if you took a step back and looked at it in that perspective, you would see what I’m seeing… Lindsey wanted a Christian family for a reason and God directed her to you. She may not agree with the idea at the moment, but I don’t always agree with God’s plans until I see the outcome and understand what He had in mind.
Praying for you both : )
Planning….ah yes. I am planning today too….right after I read a couple more blogs 🙂 This was a lovely post to read, and a great encouragement to keep going and to keep doing that right thing even when the fruit takes a while to show. And thanks for stopping by my blog too. It is nice to get to know you 😉