If Someone You Know is Adopting

Do you know someone who is planning to adopt, or has recently adopted? Speaking from the voice of experience as an adoptive mom myself (to three of my five kiddos), I’d like to share a few helpful hints for those with friends or family who are adopting.


Be excited!

What would you do for a friend who just delightedly told you she is pregnant? When someone announces plans to adopt, it is like they have just announced a pregnancy; they are excited and probably a little scared about the changes this new child (or children) will bring to their life. So hug your friend’s neck and jump up and down a little!

No scary stories!

Don’t tell soon-to-adopt parents all the scary stories you’ve read or seen on the news. No Anne of Green Gables “she put strychnine in the well” kinds of things. In my opinion, this would be like telling your first-time pregnant friend all the miscarriage/scary birth stories you’ve ever heard. Your friend is mostly likely already aware of those extremely rare situations in adoptions, so your job is to be encouraging!


Help your friend prepare a nursery/bedroom for the new child, throw them a baby (or kid) shower, etc. They will likely need STUFF but even more than that, they need to know you’re there for them and a party is a wonderful way to celebrate.

Watch your words!

This child is their own, not like their own. Once adopted, this child will be as much their own as if they had given birth to him or her. Don’t over-think what you say, but do try to be aware of your words so that you don’t unintentionally hurt your friend — or the child, if he/she is old enough to understand.

Pray for them!

Ask if they have specific prayer requests, but even if they don’t, make sure they know you’re praying for them. It’s one of the best ways to show your support!

Adoptive parents: What suggestions would YOU add to my list?