Do you know someone who is planning to adopt, or has recently adopted?
As an adoptive mom, I’d like to share a few “helpful hints” for those with friends or family who are adopting:
What would you do for a friend who just delightedly told you she is pregnant? When someone announces plans to adopt, it is like they have just announced a pregnancy; they are excited and probably a little scared about the changes this new child (or children) will bring to their life. So hug your friend’s neck and jump up and down a little!
No scary stories!
Don’t tell soon-to-adopt parents all the scary stories you’ve read or seen on the news. No Anne of Green Gables “she put strychnine in the well” kinds of things. In my opinion, this would be like telling your first-time pregnant friend all the miscarriage/scary birth stories you’ve ever heard. Your friend is mostly likely already aware of those extremely rare situations in adoptions, so your job is to be encouraging!
Help your friend prepare a nursery/bedroom for the new child, throw them a baby (or kid) shower, etc.
Watch your words!
This child is their own, not like their own. Once adopted, this child will be as much their own as if they had given birth to him or her. Don’t over-think what you say, but do try to be aware of your words so that you don’t unintentionally hurt your friend — or the child, if he/she is old enough to understand.
Pray for them!
It’s the very BEST way to be supportive!
Adoptive parents: What suggestions would YOU add to my list?