“We periodically find ourselves out of alignment with our true selves, and have to reset to get back into our proper groove. We have to remind ourselves what matters to us, what our values are – and make changes so our lives reflect those values.

And for introverts I think this is especially true…
we’re used to subverting our true selves in order to fit in, to meet expectations… So I think we may be especially susceptible to ending up lost and out of touch with our true north.”

Newly hatched sea turtles finding their way to the sea.

I so relate to this post at Louder Minds, where I borrowed the above excerpt. I’ve always been a people-pleaser, but I never really connected that to my introvertedness. Thinking on this further, I believe my highly empathetic tendencies exacerbate it; if you’re unhappy with me, I not only want to make you happy, but I also tend to literally feel your displeasure.

Gradually, I’ve realized the truth of old saying about not being able to please all the people all the time. It took more years than I’d care to admit to learn that the purpose of life is not to make others happy. To bless others, to love them, yes — but not to spin my wheels trying to keep everyone happy all the dadgum time. All that does is drain me so I have nothing left to give.

Finding true north.

I read a book years ago about discovering what you were meant to do; much of it focused on remembering your interests as a child. (If I remembered which book, I’d tell you, but that was before I kept up with that sort of thing!) When I read the book, I remember thinking that very little of my life at that time resembled anything I enjoyed as a child.

As a child, my passions were: animals, nature, reading, drawing and creating, and people and things that made me think. Until recently, there wasn’t much in my adult life to reflect this.

The past couple of years have been a get-reaquainted-with-myself time. I needed to reset my compass so I could be the kind of wife/mother/human I want to be.

I’ve been pondering this as I’ve spent long nights on the beach lately with some new nature-loving friends, waiting on baby sea turtles to hatch. My life is becoming more in line with my passions — and although I still have my less-than-stellar moments, I no longer feel constantly on the edge of losing it.

Shouting into the wind. Or in this case, the internet.

Another area where I’ve noticed my please-the-people tendencies is in my frustration about the lack of blog comments as compared to the early years of blogging. I get it; I don’t comment as often anymore either. But the fact is it makes me feel like no one is listening, even though I see the blog stats and shares so I know my words are being heard. {Well, technically read.}

Then I stumbled upon this post by yet another introvert blogger about turning off her blog comments for much the same reason. I’d already decided to make some significant changes here on the blog, and this fits right in. At least for the time being, I’ll be turning off commenting.

More blog changes in process: a simpler design with fewer ads and distractions. Eliminate posts requiring me to be subject to a blog schedule. A return to quality photographs rather than iphone snaps. More life. More homeschool. More heart-sharing.

Jamie

Wife, mom, J-ma. Introvert who enjoys good books, sunshine, and authentic conversation. Often seen with a steaming mug of tea in hand – unless it’s lost yet again in the microwave. Read more »