As I’ve said, I felt clearly that the Lord wanted us to send Lindsey to public school this year, but I will admit that I am having a hard time with it. I have peace in the fact that I’m obeying God, but it’s still hard. I send her away for the majority of the day, with no way to know what all she is being taught, what influences she is being exposed to. None of this is new to her — not the kids making out in the halls, the mohawks and crazy piercings, pregnant teens, fights in the halls, immodest clothing, or frequent cursing. (By the way, we’re in a “good” school district.) It was her old “normal” but now I want all of that to feel weird to her, to rub her the wrong way. I pray this is so. Right now, it’s new and exciting and she seems delighted to finally be doing what she’s fought us to do for the past two years.
And so, as she rides off on that yellow bus each morning, I wonder what God has planned for all of this.
Time will tell.
If I had it to do over, I’d have put Lindsey straight into public school when she came to live with us two years ago. It was what she knew, and while the change of schools (and into a very different school district) would have been a big change, it wouldn’t have been as big a change as jumping into homeschooling when everything else — like her home and her family — had just changed. Then we could’ve introduced the idea of homeschooling more slowly; she’d have seen the flexibility Kathryn and I have to do fun stuff during the days; she could’ve met friends at church that were already homeschooled teens, who weren’t “weird” but who got to go to Disney when public school was in session, and so on. It would’ve given our whole family a chance to ease into things more. And maybe — just maybe — she would slowly have been won over by the idea.
I totally believe God will work all this out for a greater good, but I’d advise other families in the same situation to consider doing it that way. Above all, though, I’d advise them to seek the Lord in the decision; He will show them what He has planned.
I also feel that I have to have an addendum here, a clarification. I do not think that sending your child to public school is poor parenting or a horrible thing. I honestly do feel it is a case by case basis that we must give to God. I know many wonderfully godly families and kids that are public schoolers, and most of my public school parent-friends don’t understand why I’m having a hard time with this. What it boils down to with Lindsey in particular is that I am feeling the pressure of how short our time is, and I wonder how we can pour into her like we should when she is gone 40 hours of every week where people I don’t even know are teaching her things I have no input about.
It’s hard. I have to keep on trusting God.