A while back, I posted this on my facebook page:
I miss the days when people actually commented on blogs for more than just entry to a giveaway of some sort. Before FB “likes” replaced actual words and before so many of us starting reading on mobile devices (which I know makes it so much harder to comment!). And before all the weird spam comments that look like real comments but really link to nasty websites. {sigh} [Small vent over now.]
Apparently, I hit a nerve. This was one of the most commented-on facebook statuses I’ve had in months, so clearly, I’m not the only one that feels this way!
One blogger said, “Oh girl….don’t even get me started. I’ve thought about shutting down my blog, because nobody comments, and I wonder if anyone reads it…sigh.”
One of the first and best things I loved about the blog world was the camaraderie. {You know, all those friends who live in your computer! 😉 }
Thankfully, I do still have that sense of camaraderie, but it’s mostly with my long-time blog friends. I wonder if I’d have the same feeling of community if I’d started blogging more recently. Social media has changed things. Maybe it’s easier to share posts you like now, but it’s also easier to stay a lurker, never really joining in the conversation.
I get it. Sometimes I read blogs on my iPhone or iPad, and it’s a royal pain to comment without a regular keyboard to type on. Sometimes it’s harder to share a post from those devices, too, so I don’t do it either as often as I’d like.
But you know what? I miss the conversation. I try to spend some time every week commenting on other blogs. {And let me take this moment to beg you to PLEASE remove captcha if you are on blogger; it usually takes me no less than three tries and a whole lot of frustration to get those new weird captchas right!}
At the SavvyBlogging conference, Ted Rubin said Facebook had stolen the word “friend,” and he encouraged us to take back the meaning of the word. I say we go further than that; let’s take back conversation and community in blogland! Let’s take some time to leave meaningful comments, respond whenever possible to meaningful comments on our own blogs, and encourage the wonderful community that blogging can create! Yes, it takes time, but if we’re online anyway, can’t we take a few minutes to encourage another blogger?
What d’ya think, blog friends?
Wife, mom, grandma. Introvert who finds joy in good books, sunshine, and authentic conversation. Fitness enthusiast and personal trainer. Often seen with a steaming mug of tea in hand.
I completely and totally agree. A connection has definitely been lost over time.
AMEN! I am so tired of social media making bloggers so selfish to promote themselves. We are so consumed with BIGGER BIGGER BIGGER — we truly don’t even read the people we follow or know a thing about them. Or people rt & like FB status posts — but never read the heart of the posts. They just like it in hopes of someone seeing their name and liking their page. Being active NOT being engaged! My blog pageviews have doubled the last few months because I’ve added FREE printables. NOT because anyone is connecting. Readers just want free stuff.… Read more »
It has gotten sad. I still continue to be baffled about how much my readership has grown, but it’s rare that I have a post that gets more than a few comments. Thanks for taking time to comment on this one!
These reasons are why I have purposefully stayed off of Facebook and do not have a Twitter or any other kind of social media. (Back in the day when I was on FB, I was so ANNOYED on my birthday when I got all of the birthday wishes that NEVER would have happened had someone’s screen not popped up that it was my birthday. If you don’t remember it just because you care about me, then don’t bother giving me well wishes. Talk about impersonal!) I also don’t want to make money on my blog. There are some blogs that… Read more »
Yes, when I made the decision to monetize my blog, I tried to do so in a way that’s not obnoxious. When my contract with BlogHer was up, I backed out of it; even though the money was decent, they had certain rules that I felt interfered with what I wanted to do here. I hope I have a happy balance of keeping it real even with a few ads!
Thanks for taking time to comment.
Yes, I know exactly what you mean, which is one reason I don’t monetize my site. I hate feeling used when I read a blog I used to like. But it is possible to do it in a gracious way, as is obvious.
I am agreeing with you on this one as well. I have started to leave comments on link-ups I join and comments on blog carnivals that I attend….hosting is work and it is always nice to get a thank you. I know with my blog carnival I have about 20 participants and MAYBE two will leave me a note saying they have read the carnival. I also am trying to leave more comments on blogs that I pin entries from…just a little calling card to say thanks. I think the other thing that has changed for me is that I… Read more »
I am a lazy google reader, too. Sometimes I end up keeping them as new so I can comment when i have more time. And often that’s on my iPad so I want to wait til I’m on my “real” computer – which means it’s often way on down the road when I do finally comment!
Thanks for your words; you know I love you and your corner of the blogosphere, Barb!!
Sigh, yes, I am guilty of doing just that! I read most of my blogs on my tablet in a Reader and don’t always comment because I’m being lazy or I don’t have the time, though I very much appreciate what is being said. Thank you for reminding me that I need to make the effort to let someone know when I enjoy what they have written :). I do think that social media has stolen the personal aspect of our relationships. We can read someones blog, read their statuses and tweets and somehow feel like we have a relationship,… Read more »
Note how I didn’t put my blog on there? LOL! It’s true. I only started blogging after FB so I don’t know any different. I post on FB because that’s where my relatives lurk and they wouldn’t check if I didn’t. I love the community I’ve found, however small it is.
I LOVE your blog, how positive it is and just everything.
As a non-blogger, but regular and appreciative reader of many blogs, I tend to only comment if I have something useful to say. I also sometimes get the feeling that comments are a closed conversation between blogger friends and I sometimes feel like I’m crashing a private party. I did make the effort at the end of last year to email the authors of my favourite blogs thanking them for their efforts and telling them how their blog had blessed me and my family. So not a conversation – but at least an acknowledgement that there are some readers who… Read more »
I appreciate that and I know all those bloggers did, even if they didn’t take time to respond. I don’t know how all other bloggers feel, but crash this party any time you want! 😉 I love to hear that someone is actually reading the stuff I write!
I agree with you totally. I really don’t do FB even though I have an account and I have never done Twitter. I think the community with bloggers beats that so very much. Thanks for bringing this up.
agree, agree, agree. I personally don’t like it when bloggers do so much on Facebook. I feel like it dilutes the content and conversation at their actual blog. I also tend to get discouraged when I comment time after time after time on blogs and NEVER get a reply – either in the comments or via email. I am looking for a conversation, not just to be an unappreciated anonymous audience member. I know the bigger bloggers are busy and important and I don’t necessarily expect them to return the favor and visit my blog, but if I don’t EVER… Read more »
Ha ha! I laughed out loud at your thoughts on captcha! It’s painful, and sometimes I can’t get through it even after numerous tries. That’s really frustrating when I’ve taken the time to leave a thoughtful comment.
I’m with you on even the bigger bloggers responding at least occasionally. I don’t have 100k visitors a day or anything, and I guess that’d be a whole other story, but I try to make an effort to not leave anyone hanging forever!!
To the point in this comment…It felt really awesome to get a comment on my blog from you, Jamie-a fellow Georgian and a busy big blogger! I told my husband how much it meant to me. I felt silly b/c I’ve never thought of the “internet world” as a “real” one. But we do spend a lot of time here and we are all very real people so…I guess in a way, it wasn’t silly to feel that sense of gratefulness and “special-ness” after seeing that you’d taken the time to comment on my blog. Thank you again!
I don’t have too much to add, just a nod of agreement. I myself am horribly guilty of just lurking, mostly from insecurity, thinking that no one really cares about my opinion. But I am definitely going to try to “speak” more.
We (or at least I) do care about your opinion, so I’m happy to hear what you have to say! Thanks for taking time to comment!
Erica, I so “feel” what you are saying here.
I so agree with you on this. I still have bloggy pals, but they’re from the old days like you say. People are still reading my blog – according to the stats, anyhow, but gone are the days of lots of lovely feedback. I find it quite demoralising sometimes.
I can’t imagine starting a blog now and getting the same kind of feedback and conversations that I got however many years ago when I began blogging. Those things are what inspired me to keep plugging along!
Yes! I wonder what it was like back then being a “new” blogger. I have gotten some comments on my blog and they do help you to keep going. But when I don’t get comments, it’s blogs like yours and WUH and the one where Collage Friday is held that keeps me going.
Now you made me feel all guilty…:-)
Couldn’t agree more with you and I’m a small potatoes blogger.
I like your “Click to Comment” link. Sometimes I just scroll through my reader. I have a couple of blogs I try to check in with once a week or so with comments. One thing I had to do – as with friends- is sort them out to just a few. I was overwhelmed in my reader with hundreds of blog posts to read. Now, I have just the few that I really want to keep up with, and I do have more time to comment. Great Article. I think alot of us feel this way. My most dreaded response… Read more »
Thanks! I added that “click to comment” to try to make it as painless as possible to comment, even from blog readers or mobile browsers, because when I’m commenting on other blogs, I like to get there in as few clicks as possible.
And yes, I try to keep the blogs I read to a minimum, but switch them out periodically so I’m not completely missing all my lovely blogland pals.
I agree, blogging is much more impersonal now than it was a few years ago. I too developed some special friendships from those early days of blogging, but now we all are in blog hibernation so we keep up by email instead. I struggle with whether blogging and blog reading is the best use of my time, so I haven’t commented much for the last couple of years. Plus, since I haven’t been actively blogging I kind of feel like I don’t have much to offer in return if someone wants to get to know me. I’ve tried to cut… Read more »
Aw, thanks for de-lurking, and especially for your kind words! I’m glad you’re here. It is a hard balance to find how much time to devote to things like blog reading, but I’d much rather do that than spend much time on facebook seeing what everyone had for lunch. I also try to only subscribe to blogs I find useful or encouraging in some way, and when I achieve that balance, I believe it’s definitely worth my while.
Your facebook book comment cracks me up. That’s part of the reason we’ve never done FB at our house. But I’ve promised my almost 15yo daughter that we’ll set up a FB account for her over the Christmas break, which means I’ll need to get one too so I can monitor. If your girls are on FB I would love to hear if you have any advice for teenagers and FB (in case you’re looking for new post ideas 😉 ).
Hm. I guess i really wasn’t a big commenter before I had my own blog. guilty. Same feelings as some former comments, I felt like no one really cared about my 2 cents. Now that I blog myself let me say to all the lurkers – from a former lurker – COMMENT! Even just to say, “I liked your post!” I get it now! Mine’s still small enough that I try to respond to every comment but even if there comes a time when I just can’t keep up – the comments are still appreciated! Especially moms that are stay-at-home… Read more »
Yep, you said it! De-lurk, friends, so we can know you! I have found (and this is hard to explain to folks not at all in the blog world) that I have more like-minded friends in blogland than in my real life. I love my real life friends, and online pals are no replacement, but it’s so encouraging to find others who think more like me in some key ways.
I agree whole-heartedly! Most of the people who comment on my blog are the same 4 or 5 people that have done so for YEARS. I think social media has done absolutely nothing for building community or relationships; everything is far too fast paced to go deep.
{I know I haven’t been around here as much as I would like, life has been a bit crazier since the triplets are on the go!}
TOTALLY understandable!!! We may start fostering soon so my online time may be more limited if that happens! I agree, though, that social media is handy — but doesn’t really build relationships.
Thanks for taking time to comment, and go hugs those babies for me! 🙂
I am very new to the blog world and have lots to learn! I am, however, blessed by so many blogs and don’t necessarily let them know. Thanks for your encouraging words! (one complaint i have, trying to make comments using my iPhone is such a pain!!! hahaha)
Merry Christmas 🙂
iPhones are one of those oh-so-handy but sometimes such a pain-in-the-rear things, aren’t they? Thanks for taking time to comment, Teresa!
I agree 100% and try to comment, even if it’s just a sentence, on posts that I read. When I first started blogging, I had one regular commenter who made my day every time she did so because then I knew someone was reading it! Now I see the stats and see that many are, but very few comment.
Eddie – Yes, I still find it odd how much my readership has grown while commenting has decreased. I’m glad folks are reading, but I’d love to hear from them every now and then, too!
Thanks for taking time to comment!!
You mentioned this a couple of weeks ago on FB, and it really hit a nerve! I have made a more conscious effort since them to stop and comment after reading blogs, because you are so right. I feel like it’s a courtesy even to just say, “I so relate” or “Excellent point” or “Thanks for taking the time to write your heart” rather than click a “like” button. I am SO guilty of doing just that! I will confess, though, that I am notoriously bad at replying to blog comments. Maybe that can be a resolution of my own… Read more »
Jennie – I tend to go in spurts on how well I do in replying and such, but I do try! It is so encouraging to know that folks reading liked sometime I wrote well enough to actually tell me so.
Thanks for taking time to comment!
Love so many things about this. 🙂 And I love the plug to remove captcha on blogger sites. I often give up because I can’t get it right. 🙁
Natasha,
I’ve determined that captcha is evil.
Or just a conspiracy from eyeglass manufacturers to make me get glasses since it convinces me I can no longer see!!! 😉
I am a fairly new blogger, and while I have received comments from different people, this is usually from link ups and not from regular readers. It makes it hard to know what readers are relating to when they don’t make comments. I don’t expect a comment every time, but I would like to hear from people, particularly when I pose a question.
Thank you for this post. This will definitely make me more conscientious about my blogging etiquette.
Penny,
Back when I had a higher comment ratio (based on how many people were reading), I often found new things to write about based on reader comments and questions. That’s rare now. But as you said, feedback is super-helpful — and very encouraging!
I soooo know what you mean. I have a few faithful followers that will always comment but it leaves me wondering if anyone else is reading and liking my posts! LOL I make sure to always ask for opinions when I do my tutorials but still it’s only my faithful few that comment. I guess it makes me appreciate them even more!!
Stacy,
Exactly! I appreciate everyone who reads me, but I looove those who take time to comment! Thanks for doing so today! 🙂
I’m with ya with the whole captcha… 🙂 And I think your blog was one of the ones I first followed when I entered this world of blogging…one of the thing I loved about yours was that you actually responded to comments, so that it felt like a conversation. I also “get” that responding can’t happen each and every post…and I’m always sad when I notice comments (especially heart-felt-sharing) that I somehow missed in the comments on our site. Have you read the book “The Shallows”? I really think that has a lot to do with it…that we are slowly… Read more »
Kara – I have never heard of that book til now but I think I’ll have to check it out. I think the skimming comes from such a vast quantity of information we have available to us these days, and we haven’t learned how to weed through and choose what to spend time on and what to pass by. Seldom to most of us sit and ponder anymore — especially modern teens. Instead, if we have down time, we use that to check email or facebook or twitter or any number of other things. Even I find myself having to… Read more »
Amen and amen and amen! I couldn’t agree more, Jamie! I’ve been blogging on Blogger since October 2009 about life on our farm. I know (because they’ve told me so) that a couple family members who are 60+ follow my blog, although they never comment, but that’s okay because I know the “how” of commenting can be intimidating to older folks. One of my sisters reads & comments when she gets a chance to get on the family computer; my other sister has NEVER read my blog although she spends hours on the computer. Only one of my kids and… Read more »
Wow, I’m sorry you’ve had such a yucky experience with those bloggers. I haven’t spend much time in the world of wordpress; I’m on a self-hosted WP blog, but it’s very different and really not at all like regular wordpress. Anyway, that stinks. And thank you for sharing my blog with your daughter, and for taking the time to comment! Also, I just popped over to your site, and although I know I’ve visited before, somehow I think I missed that you are in Georgia, too! Fun! 🙂
A friend of mine was talking about this the other day, and I think you can eliminate the “liking” from strangers by going to Settings, then Sharing, and you can turn it off. Or set to “turned on per post.” Something like that. I have a self-hosted WP blog, so I am not entirely positive what this looks like on your dashboard, but there is a solution somewhere in the Sharing settings.
so! helpful!
Thanks so much!
Well, you certainly have a lot of comments on this one! And I agree with you. We are a nation of skimmers — as Kara says — and I hate it. Due to time constraints, I don’t always comment on posts I read. And I also don’t comment if I have nothing of value to add to the conversations.
RE: Facebook/blogging, I don’t do much with it, even though I have a page for my blog. I prefer the blog itself!
Ellen ~ Ha, ha! Yes, I do have a lot of comments here, but I think it’s because I’ve struck such a nerve! I don’t comment as much as I’d like either, but if a post particularly made an impression, I do try to. And yes, I prefer the real blog to the fb page as well!
You have certainly struck a nerve. Great topic! I agree with you – commenting means a great deal. It’s like a little thank you from a reader for the time you put into a post. I also agree with you that the blog world is changing with social media. However, we can try to change the tide. Those that comment and take the time and develop community definitely stick out. Like a bright light in a busy online world. You are one of those Jamie!
Exactly, Tricia! A comment really is like a little thank you from readers for the time & thought put into a post. Well put! (And you are one of those bright lights, too!)
Jamie, I’m sorry that I’ve not taken time to comment. I wanted you to know that I do enjoy your blog, your photography, your adoption story, your furniture restoration, the updates about your father (because my father-n-law has PSP (Progressive Supernuclear Palsy) and so I can relate to what you type, and so much more. I was born and raised in GA but now live in MO and so I enjoy when you type about things in GA and I know where you are talking about. I think since I get the blogs sent to my email address – I… Read more »
Nancy,
I appreciate that you deem me and little blog worthy of being one of those few blogs you read regularly! That truly does mean a great deal to me, and I thank you! Thank you, too, for taking the time to comment today! I know it is hard to find a balance of how to spend our time, online and off, so I appreciate anyone to takes the time to read me. I like the analogy of thoughtful comments being like a personal letter; very true!
Agreed! Thanks so much for saying this. (And I’ll try to be a better commenter and not just lurker in the future…) Blessings to you and yours this Holiday season!
Karen ~ Thanks to you, too, for commenting today! God bless!
Wow!, I had no idea that not commenting, is not a good thing. I follow about seven or eight blogs, and like many I read on my iPhone…I usually have to read on the fly due to my coo-coo schedule…I homeschool three kids (Kinder, 7th, & Sophmore) and help teach in several different co-ops as well. So, I usually have five minutes, here and there. I do want to share that I appreciate what you blog ladies write…I spend my moments over the kitchen sink or folding laundry thinking about what I read that day, and praying and pondering how… Read more »
I’m a shameless lurker. Or a shameful one. Not sure which yet. Maybe there should be a Lurker Support Group that gets us out of the shadows. 😉
I actually have 3 blogs – the first is a personal blog that use to be public, and it has been running for around 5 or 6 years. I use to get hits and comments on a regular basis. But now I rarely get anything other than junk pings. Almost makes me want to quit. I try to comment when I can on others posts – but since I look at most posts in Google Reader, it makes it difficult to comment. Anyway – I so get the frustration. I’ve watched blogs go huge in a few days simply because… Read more »
Well this one sure got the comments flowing. 😉 I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you said this. I look back at my little (almost 5 year old) blog and see that when I had like 20 followers I had a few comments per post. Today I have 140 “ish” followers and see that nearly 500 read my blog on a given day….NOT A SINGLE COMMENT IN MONTHS.
Personally I am so over the giveaways…they wear me out. 😉
I just had something occur to me as I deactivated my Facebook account for the season of Advent. Without it, I have nothing left but my blog reader. I CANNOT TELL YOU THE LAST TIME I JUST SAT AND LOOKED AT MY BLOG FEED!!! With Facebook and Twitter, I am being spoon “fed” literally in my feed. No need to go into my blog reader anymore and peruse through all the blogs I follow. I used to do this every single morning or at night maybe. But the point is, I did it everyday. Now, with so many blogs promoting… Read more »
Totally agreed. My readership has dropped, but I closed my blog for awhile and that is when it really happened. But yeah, I rarely get ANY comments anymore. It isn’t that I want a lot of comment, but a lot of times I’d read a comment and think to go and read that person’s blog to see what is up with their families and comment. I also have noticed that less and less people are blogging too. I am not on FB, so I clearly don’t get it but it just doesn’t seem a good fit for me. I like… Read more »
I started my garden blog back in 2005 — the conversations were what kept me going, even when only four people a day read my blog. At least they were commenting! It gave me a reason to keep blogging. I’ve been thinking about this subject lately as well. I am going to start leaving comments again. Getting a “like” or retweet is nice, but it’s just not the same.
Interestingly, it’s was Colleen’s tweet that brought me here, but I agree with you entirely. I’ve been blogging since 2006 and was a loyal commenter on others’ blogs during most of that time. But, for various reasons, for the past couple of years I’ve been quieter — both on my own blog and on others. It’s probably no coincidence that this is the period when Facebook became more business-oriented, and I joined Twitter. But even Twitter these days has become less personal, less fun and more about self-promotion. We can only cut so many pieces in our pie, or each… Read more »
I’m fortunate in that although my blog doesn’t have the massive readership that some others enjoy, quite a few leave comments. It’s not the kind of blog which invites much in the way of discussion or controversy (it’s about wild plants) but people often leave friendly words of appreciation and, in turn, I appreciate that they do so. But thinking of blogs more widely – sometimes I get dejected because over and over we are encouraged to be professional about our blogging and to put effort into courting visitors. This, for me, takes the edge away from its pleasure. One… Read more »
I appreciate what you’re saying soooo much. I just started my blog and the stress of making it “look right” was not fun. I prayed A LOT through the design process, wondering if I should even start a blog. The Lord did then and continues to direct me forward and not to worry about getting it perfect. Just talk about what He puts on my heart. Share what He leads me to share. Tell about my business, tell about my daily life, and speak encouraging words. We’ll see where He leads!
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https://plus.google.com/u/1/114855549461675700128/posts/DDkteMfZsD4
Happy to see you are drawing LOTS of comments this time around. Your readers are still with you!
You have CommentLuv I like your blog ;~)
I miss the time long ago when blogs told stories and shared thoughts that were interesting, entertaining, and thought-provoking written by people with a knack for the written word and not just by someone writing for the sake of internet marketing and stuff. Sigh
I had you and your family on my mind today and searched in my feeder if I had missed any posts lately and found this one. What you and everyone who has commented has said has really resonated. I have been a pretty bad lurker on anyone’s blog who I don’t personally know. I think like someone said, I have treated blogs like magazine articles, but I should really think more about the people writing the posts more. The Internet and social media has made things get more and more impersonal and I would like to make the places where… Read more »
I’m not a dedicated blogger, but I like to share my thoughts and my life with those willing to read, about once a month. I have noticed, lately, that there rarely are comments. So, I wonder who reads and if I should just quit. But, when I privatized it for a while, I did have a few people asking me why they couldn’t read my blog, anymore. So, I decided to go public, again, and not worry if people didn’t comment. I’m doing it more for my own benefit, I suppose. And I do like to read several people’s blogs,… Read more »
I needed this post! I’m a new blogger and this is just what I need for a little perspective on what I’m doing and why.
It’s funny how the net has changed so quickly over time. Part of what fascinated me about the old discussion forums was the conversations between people who would not normally talk to each other. Now we are a series of monologs.
I think part of the problem is the wide variety of information out there. There are so many blogs to read, so many giveaways to enter, so many happenings to see that people don’t have the time to comment any more.
I, myself, unsubscribed to a bunch of blogs I was subscribed to. I cleaned my inbox this weekend of hundreds of emails I didn’t have time to read. I am choosing to disconnect and simplify.
I want to have more time AWAY from the screen. Bring on the quiet and slow times of the old days!
I share this frustration… comments led to conversations and that made blogging much more interactive. Now my blogging seems very one sided. I’ve taken to asking questions at the end of posts thinking it may lead to conversation but rarely does it get much of a nibble. I gotta say- its taken some of the fun and a big chunk of the feeling of connected-ness out of it.