Last week, my phone rang and the little voice on the end belonged to 5-year-old Scout:
“Hi, Ms. Jamie. We just had our goodbye visit,
and I wanted to ask if you would be our new family.”
Tears sprang to my eyes and I clamped my hand over my mouth so I didn’t lose my composure. Despite all the emotions running through my mind, I took a breath and calmly responded, “Yes, we’d love that.” We exchanged I love you‘s and goodbyes, and I talked to Foster Mom a few minutes for more details on how that final visit went for the kids.
After I hung up, I had time to think.
There was SO MUCH wrapped up in that brief exchange.
First, the concept of a “goodbye visit.” The children had previously said a final goodbye to their biological father in a different way, but this was the final visit with mom after receiving the judge’s order to terminate her parental rights. Scout and Jem knew this. I cannot fathom what these children, just 4 and 5 years old, thought and felt. They haven’t lived with her in nearly a year and a half, but she was still “Mommy.”
Thinking as a mother, I cannot fathom what their mom must’ve thought and felt. On the one hand, she is responsible for this because the children would’ve been returned to her if she had fulfilled the requirements of her “reunification plan.” I can’t imagine not walking through the pit of hell if necessary to keep my children. But this doesn’t negate her pain.
It’s an impossible situation to wrap my brain around.
Then there’s the fact that Scout asked for us to be her new family. That a five-year-old understood she would have a new family — and the idea that she thinks she picked us, rather than the other way around; I hope this helps her with all the changes ahead since she feels as though she had a say in the matter instead of having it all forced upon her.
Just a couple of days later, we picked the kids up for an extended visit (required before they can move in). Conversations about us being their “new family” came up several times with Scout. Not so much with Jem, as he is 18 months younger than Scout and doesn’t understand as much of what’s going on. The kids are now back at the foster parents’ home, and the plan is to sign placement papers and move them in this Friday.
Obviously this is taking up a great deal of my thoughts and time right now, so I’ll often be blogging about all of our foster-adoption process. Life goes in cycles, which means that personal blogs do, too. But, in case you’re wondering, my blog focus will not change; I’ll continue writing about homeschooling, parenting, marriage, and all the other things I’m passionate about as well!
Twitter: marymakesmusic
says:
Beautiful — what an amazing day Friday will be!
Mary recently posted..LEGO Candy Math
Oh, Jamie! This brought tears to my eyes. Praying for y’all.
It took me some time to read this through the tears. Praying for all of you this week especially.
jonnia smith recently posted..A Very Quick Update
Jamie, I am sniffling away happily for you here. How absolutely WONDERFUL!!!! Can’t wait for the post-Friday update!
Erin – The Usual Mayhem recently posted..Guest post: sensory Scented snow!
What a beautiful way to begin my Monday. My heart is so happy for u and these sweet littles. Being chosen-it brings love a whole new definition -doesn’t, it.
I’ve just been so blessed following this story! We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers!!
Annie recently posted..George Washington’s Breakfast
Wow! Bless you and bless them! Things went a little differently for us since we agreed to temporarily foster. I actually took our daughter to court and the goodbye visit. She was also older.
It’s tough to imagine how their little minds process all that is going on. I’m sure you wished you could have reached and picked her up and held her at that very moment. I’m happy for you all that things are moving and continue to pray.
That is such a sweet post. It is so exciting to see this all come together. Blessings to you all.
Wow, just wow. I am praying for you all. And the Jones family can not wait to meet them!!!
wow. just wow.
praying that the transition is a smooth one.
Britney recently posted..Crochet Class Pictures
Twitter: MommaKnows
says:
How sweet! I attended the last 40 minutes of our first foster adopt sons final visit with this bio parents. It was all every emotional, even for me. Knowing that when they handed him to me it was forever, whew that was a lot. I’ll keep you in prayer this week as you prepare to move them in! I’m so excited for you!
Dawn @ The Momma Knows recently posted..PDD-NOS and Homeschooling
priceless and precious
Stephanie Loomis recently posted..Purim
As a social worker (before I became a mom), I had to supervised final visits from time to time. It is heartbreaking for everyone involved. I will definitely pray for your children, their birthmother, and your family!
Hi, Jamie, you usually hear from me as Zephyr Hill, but I’m doing this as Mimiswardrobe from my WordPress blog. I want to nominate you for the Versatile Blogger award! I understand if you don’t care to accept, especially at this busy time, because there are certain things you have to do if you accept. (I’ll be posting the rules on my WP blog shortly.) But I just wanted lots of people to know about your great blog! God bless you as you continue down this road.
Twitter: Kris_WUHSMom
says:
It’s so beautiful watching God work. (((Hugs)))
Kris @ Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers recently posted..Sign Up for the 2013 CurrClick Science Fair
Twitter: AQuietHeart
says:
Oh Jamie! Just reading this brought tears to my eyes!! Praying for you all.
Veronica @ A Quiet Heart recently posted..Titus Ryle: 11 Months Old
Oh, Jamie!! I wish I had a great comment. Just excited, nervous and joyful for you guys. And I’m praying for you. Love to your new family!
a
ohAmanda recently posted..Armor of God: Breastplate of Righteousness Craft
What an amazing journey you are on. Our children’s birth parents did not show up for their goodbye visit. My kids were younger so they did not really understand what was going on. PRaying for you.
Blessings, Dawn
Twitter: NotInadequate
says:
Oh, that is both the happiest post and the saddest. Hug those babies tight!
(and if you need any ideas for semi-educational activities to keep two kids busy while you check you email once in a while, let me know)
Deb recently posted..Random Monday
Twitter: jamieworley
says:
I do need ideas!
That’s amazing. I love how not only are you choosing them–but in a way, they’re choosing you, too (not that they REALLY have any say in the matter, but you know what I mean
).
I know this is huge for your family…I’ll be thinking of and praying for you!
<3
Jaimie recently posted..Embracing This Present Season of Life
Twitter: embarski
says:
No words to add, except these: the Lord chose everyone and said, “This be a family.”
Ellen, the Bluestocking Belle recently posted..Weekly Happenings: Cathedrals, Cupcakes, and Other New Things
I don’t know how it feels for an abandoned child to have a new family.
I was thinking that, it’s like a magic to them.
Juna @ Doula Training recently posted..Finding the right Obestetrician for you!
Beautiful. Amazing. Happy. Wonderful. Sweet. Blessed. Emotional. Joyful. Amazing. These are the words that people are using to describe this awesome adventure. I don’t know you, Jamie, but following your journey makes me excited for the day that I get to meet you (in heaven) and give you a huge hug. Your story is beautiful, encouraging, and a great example of God’s love for His children. Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.
Matthew 25:23~Well done, good and faithful servant…
**HUGS**
Mama H recently posted..Mooch~ 02/17/06 to 02/25/13
Twitter: chaosandclutter
says:
Awww…would you be our new family? On the one hand, it is about the sweetest question I’ve ever heard and on the other hand, it is the saddest because no child should ever have to have a new family. I’m so glad they “chose” you. Praying for your family during this big week. I know you must have a million things to get done before the end of the week!
Sharla recently posted..Books for Those Considering Adopting an Older Child
This post just put a smile on my face and joy in my heart. What a blessing you will all be to each other and to other’s around you.
From the mouth of babes! How wonderful for you all!
What a blessing!
I can read ‘LOVE’ all over the words you write about these children who are becoming your family. Our son and daughter-in-law are now fostering to adopt a young brother and sister, and they won our hearts immediately! So exciting, but a testing of patience and a lesson in grace as we watch the process from afar. I’ll be watching for more posts on your family adventure!
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