Last week, my phone rang and the little voice on the end belonged to 5-year-old Scout:
“Hi, Ms. Jamie. We just had our goodbye visit,
and I wanted to ask if you would be our new family.”
Tears sprang to my eyes and I clamped my hand over my mouth so I didn’t lose my composure. Despite all the emotions running through my mind, I took a breath and calmly responded, “Yes, we’d love that.” We exchanged I love you‘s and goodbyes, and I talked to Foster Mom a few minutes for more details on how that final visit went for the kids.
After I hung up, I had time to think.
There was SO MUCH wrapped up in that brief exchange.
First, the concept of a “goodbye visit.” The children had previously said a final goodbye to their biological father in a different way, but this was the final visit with mom after receiving the judge’s order to terminate her parental rights. Scout and Jem knew this. I cannot fathom what these children, just 4 and 5 years old, thought and felt. They haven’t lived with her in nearly a year and a half, but she was still “Mommy.”
Thinking as a mother, I cannot fathom what their mom must’ve thought and felt. On the one hand, she is responsible for this because the children would’ve been returned to her if she had fulfilled the requirements of her “reunification plan.” I can’t imagine not walking through the pit of hell if necessary to keep my children. But this doesn’t negate her pain.
It’s an impossible situation to wrap my brain around.
Then there’s the fact that Scout asked for us to be her new family. That a five-year-old understood she would have a new family — and the idea that she thinks she picked us, rather than the other way around; I hope this helps her with all the changes ahead since she feels as though she had a say in the matter instead of having it all forced upon her.
Just a couple of days later, we picked the kids up for an extended visit (required before they can move in). Conversations about us being their “new family” came up several times with Scout. Not so much with Jem, as he is 18 months younger than Scout and doesn’t understand as much of what’s going on. The kids are now back at the foster parents’ home, and the plan is to sign placement papers and move them in this Friday.
Read more about Scout and Jem’s adoption story.
Wife, mama, homeschooler, dog-wrangler. Introvert who finds joy in good books, sunshine, and authentic conversation. Fitness enthusiast and strength coach. Often seen with a steaming mug of tea in hand.
Beautiful — what an amazing day Friday will be!
Oh, Jamie! This brought tears to my eyes. Praying for y’all.
It took me some time to read this through the tears. Praying for all of you this week especially.
Jamie, I am sniffling away happily for you here. How absolutely WONDERFUL!!!! Can’t wait for the post-Friday update!
What a beautiful way to begin my Monday. My heart is so happy for u and these sweet littles. Being chosen-it brings love a whole new definition -doesn’t, it.
I’ve just been so blessed following this story! We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers!!
Wow! Bless you and bless them! Things went a little differently for us since we agreed to temporarily foster. I actually took our daughter to court and the goodbye visit. She was also older.
It’s tough to imagine how their little minds process all that is going on. I’m sure you wished you could have reached and picked her up and held her at that very moment. I’m happy for you all that things are moving and continue to pray.
That is such a sweet post. It is so exciting to see this all come together. Blessings to you all.
Wow, just wow. I am praying for you all. And the Jones family can not wait to meet them!!!
wow. just wow.
praying that the transition is a smooth one.
How sweet! I attended the last 40 minutes of our first foster adopt sons final visit with this bio parents. It was all every emotional, even for me. Knowing that when they handed him to me it was forever, whew that was a lot. I’ll keep you in prayer this week as you prepare to move them in! I’m so excited for you!
priceless and precious
As a social worker (before I became a mom), I had to supervised final visits from time to time. It is heartbreaking for everyone involved. I will definitely pray for your children, their birthmother, and your family!
Hi, Jamie, you usually hear from me as Zephyr Hill, but I’m doing this as Mimiswardrobe from my WordPress blog. I want to nominate you for the Versatile Blogger award! I understand if you don’t care to accept, especially at this busy time, because there are certain things you have to do if you accept. (I’ll be posting the rules on my WP blog shortly.) But I just wanted lots of people to know about your great blog! God bless you as you continue down this road.
It’s so beautiful watching God work. (((Hugs)))
Oh Jamie! Just reading this brought tears to my eyes!! Praying for you all.
Oh, Jamie!! I wish I had a great comment. Just excited, nervous and joyful for you guys. And I’m praying for you. Love to your new family!
a
What an amazing journey you are on. Our children’s birth parents did not show up for their goodbye visit. My kids were younger so they did not really understand what was going on. PRaying for you.
Blessings, Dawn
Oh, that is both the happiest post and the saddest. Hug those babies tight!
(and if you need any ideas for semi-educational activities to keep two kids busy while you check you email once in a while, let me know)
I do need ideas! 🙂
That’s amazing. I love how not only are you choosing them–but in a way, they’re choosing you, too (not that they REALLY have any say in the matter, but you know what I mean 🙂 ).
I know this is huge for your family…I’ll be thinking of and praying for you!
<3
No words to add, except these: the Lord chose everyone and said, “This be a family.”
I don’t know how it feels for an abandoned child to have a new family.
I was thinking that, it’s like a magic to them.
Beautiful. Amazing. Happy. Wonderful. Sweet. Blessed. Emotional. Joyful. Amazing. These are the words that people are using to describe this awesome adventure. I don’t know you, Jamie, but following your journey makes me excited for the day that I get to meet you (in heaven) and give you a huge hug. Your story is beautiful, encouraging, and a great example of God’s love for His children. Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. 🙂 Matthew 25:23~Well done, good and faithful servant…
**HUGS**
Awww…would you be our new family? On the one hand, it is about the sweetest question I’ve ever heard and on the other hand, it is the saddest because no child should ever have to have a new family. I’m so glad they “chose” you. Praying for your family during this big week. I know you must have a million things to get done before the end of the week!
This post just put a smile on my face and joy in my heart. What a blessing you will all be to each other and to other’s around you.
From the mouth of babes! How wonderful for you all!
What a blessing!
[…] Good-bye Visit & The Question (Foster Adoption) – Jamie and her husband are pursuing a foster adoption of siblings and she has been sharing how the process has been for them. If you are considering foster adoption, I would encourage you to read the whole series. If this is something you have experienced before, go on over and offer up some words of encouragement as they move towards bringing these children into their family later this week. […]
I can read ‘LOVE’ all over the words you write about these children who are becoming your family. Our son and daughter-in-law are now fostering to adopt a young brother and sister, and they won our hearts immediately! So exciting, but a testing of patience and a lesson in grace as we watch the process from afar. I’ll be watching for more posts on your family adventure!