The Real {online} Me
In my little corner of the online world, I want to be real — but that doesn’t mean sharing EVERY little thing. I share more personal things about my family than many bloggers do, but there’s simply no reason to share the nittiest of the grittiest. It would violate the trust of those closest to me, and that is NOT okay. I won’t candy-coat my life, but I will make a point of celebrating the good rather than focusing on the bad.
Thanks to my husband, this photo is lit very well and I look pretty good — but to be a “finished” image (I’m a photographer, remember!?), I would’ve edited it further. So this is not the no-makeup real me, but it is the un-retouched me.
A dear friend of mine has decided to step back a bit from blogging, and part of her reason is that she doesn’t want to present a different self online than she is real life. And that’s complicated, because while she’s totally real in what she does share, she’s not willing to compromise herself or her family relationships in sharing some things that frankly aren’t anyone else’s business (my words; not hers). On the flip side, though, these other offline things greatly affect who she is — which leads her to the feeling that she isn’t sharing her whole, real self.
In most of the online social media world (blogs, facebook, etc), folks tend to share only the best of what’s happening. That’s important to remember, because it’s very easy to see those things and think those people live spectacularly amazing lives; and that can lead to thinking our own lives pale in comparison.
Here’s the thing: this is blogland. Live-streaming cams from bird nests are one thing, but a blog is not intended for that kind of view into anyone’s life. You can’t actually LIVE a life if you’re spending most of your time blogging about it. My friend’s main goal in stepping back from her online life is to allow time for her offline life. She is at a very different life stage than I am, and is far more accomplished in the blogging world than I am, but when she explained these things, much of it resonated with me.
Keeping a balance is hard. As far as what I share online, and in how I schedule/manage my time, I have to make a point of being intentional about keeping my offline life a priority. Not just because I blog; life can easily get off-balance even for those who spend zero time online. Part of the challenge is that there’s no set formula, because as life changes — by seasons of life or sometimes even day to day — the specifics vary.
I appreciate each and every one of you willing to join me on my journey here, and I promise to keep on being real. But please remember: although this is the real me, it will never be my whole life, or my whole self. It can’t be, and it shouldn’t be.
Wife, mom, J-ma. Introvert who enjoys good books, sunshine, and authentic conversation. Often seen with a steaming mug of tea in hand – unless it’s lost yet again in the microwave. Read more »
I completely agree!
Jamie, This is so very true! I do share most of the good and some of the nitty gritty. I want to encourage others….but, not be false in my testimony…the grass is not always green. However, we do need to have some boundaries, as a line of protection for our friends and our family. There are some things…I simply do not feel I need to share…and for others who do share those things, I feel they are called to do so. Thank you for this post…and for being real!
Well said! BTW – I’ve been praying for your family during the missions trip 🙂
Excellent post! That’s how I feel as a Home School Chuckles columnist. Not all of life is funny and sometimes I have to look hard for the humor, but it’s still there, so I can share a laugh. The more I look for the laugh, the more laughter we all experience in our home. Thanks for putting this birdie back in her comfy nest of reality AND sharing! Especially since TODAY is my blog launch day! Eeeks and yay! BTW, I hope my friends read your post, so they can see my heart … you pulled it out so gently… Read more »
Love it, Jamie! Very well said.
Love this post. I agree with so much of it. You know the funny thing is, I think I get much more out of the blogs I read that are REAL, and discuss the bad things too because we all have them.
These are our blogs, not our personal diaries. Not every little bitty thing needs to be tossed out, unless that’s what you want of course.
I love your blog Jamie! And the ‘un-touched’ you. 🙂
Thank you for sharing this post! I agree, we shouldn’t share every little detail about our lives. The really personal stuff has to stay personal. I do think we need to stay true to self though and you do an amazing job at that. At least, from my perspective.
Thank you for sharing and being real. 🙂
This is so true and how I feel/blog. I always joke that I don’t need my blog to remember all the un-fun things in my day like fighting kids or a messy house, not even to remember the time I had to climb to the top of a McDonald’s play structure to break up a fight between my oldest boys! I blog because it sometimes is much harder to remember the good stuff. Also because I feel that God has called me to share our adoption story. My life is far from perfect and I love to share, but it… Read more »
Great post. It’s so true that so many people share only the best of their lives and at times, when we are not feeling like ALL amazing, wonderful, good, fantastic, fabulous things are happening to us…that can bring us down further. I strive to be real on my blog. I want to show the bad days, too. But there are things that I just can’t or won’t share because to do so would infringe on my family’s privacy. I think striving for some humility in blogging is important. In my opinion, it’s important to acknowledge our own disorganization or short… Read more »
WOOT! Thank you – I get some people telling me how much we have in common and how they think we’d be great friends – and I think, “you don’t know me at all”. Or some folks saying – oh I didn’t know you were going on vacation … because I didn’t share it on my blog!? While it’s beautiful to form relationships – if they’re not taken “offline” (phone, texts, skype, coffee) then it’s truly not a “friendship” nor should anyone feel like they “know” a blogger. With my husband traveling as much as he does (19 days last… Read more »
I completely agree! I am fairly new to blogging but have the same struggles that you have mentioned here. Online vs offline time. What to share, what not to share. I run my business in both places (online/offline) so my blog reflects Miche. However, that’s not WHO I am, it’s just a part of my life. I have been cautioned many times on mixing business and personal life on public forums but it comes down to this. Who am I? What do I want the world to know about me? I am a homeschooling mother of 3, married to a… Read more »
I agree with you 100%!!! Some things are no one else’s business. I try to not come across as a fake me, or like I have it all together, but my blog will never be the full picture of who I am. And that’s okay.
I agree wholeheartedly, Jamie. I am still trying to figure that balance out!
I really appreciate your thoughts about this. I feel this way a lot, there are things in my personal life that aren’t meant to be shared, they are privet, but that doesn’t mean I am not being Real online. It is a hard balance, and I am trying to figure it out (with out compromising confidentiality with my husband or friends and family). I think the important thing is to read other blogs with a grain of salt, realizing that their life is probably not ‘better than yours’ just because it appears so much better online. This isn’t being deceptive… Read more »
Very thoughtful. Like sands in the hourglass…
Being intentional is something I could totally work on myself. More tips for doing that please…:)
Sometimes I see these mommy bloggers and think how do they do that? Well they don’t honestly, they have help!
So don’t think too hard on how they do it and compare your cabinet full of spices with sticky bottoms to their custom cabinet with homemade chalk labels. Thanks for the honesty.
Off to mega share this post.
May I just say- you are adorable! Love that picture- unrefined and all! ;0) I find it refreshing to step away from the blog at times- because it can start to seem that what you present online is not your whole, authentic self. You can “be” anything you want online. That is why I am glad that I have some real family and friends that I trust who read my blog. They keep me grounded. ;0) And some of my online discussions groups are so awesome- I can share real struggles and things that some of my offline friends don’t… Read more »
🙂
Just had to say that.
what a great post… and so true. There are sometimes you just can’t and shouldn’t blog about certain things that happen in your life. My blog is still a scrapbook to me which means sharing our families daily memories, not necessarily the ins and outs of our personal lives. Although I do share that stuff sometimes too… loved this discussion!
So very true. Great post!
this was refreshing! an amazing post. thank you for it!